izkah's sAnCtUaRy

2005-06-06T06:34:00.000-07:00

im scared. coz i haven't been this happy for so long. coz with every single smile i make, i shed a thousand tears after. how much more now, now that you've been giving me a million reasons to smile?
~~~dont let the bastards grind you down~~~

update!

2005-06-01T08:51:00.000-07:00

finally! after almost a month of silence in my blog, i will be able to update it.... the reason i was stagnant that long was beacause muh lil sistah kinda kidnapped my laptop... ehehe.... anyway, i had a very memorable weeks that is full of mixed emotions.... i was exuberant coz i was able to spend and entire weekend with my mom and sisters... i was kinda scared and worried coz i found a lump in my chest area and i went to a doctor for check up, later finding out i have 2 lumps and i need an ultrasound and a mammogram, and possibly a biopsy.... i spend the entire night in an emergency room coz muh sweetie aaron had pains on his right side that's been bothering him for quite sometime... thankfully its nothing serious, just muscle strain... and one more thing... this past week, my bf's mom bought the 2005 eclipse! whew! she's really one hot momma! so i guess thats it for now.... quite a packed week i had..... hopefully things will get better.... ciao!
~dont let the bastards grind you down~

happy 10th monthsary baby!!!

2005-05-04T11:35:00.000-07:00

whew! i cant believe its been 10 months since we first became "us".... but in reality i felt like ive been with my baby for eternity.... ive never loved anyone the way i love my ehren... im very thankful i found him and he loves me back the way i want him to.... ~~my baby... you really give good love to me.... happy 10th monthsary ehren!!!!~~
~dont let the bastards grind you down~

2005-05-02T10:31:00.000-07:00

my one and only someone..... je t'aime

new skin!

2005-05-02T10:19:00.000-07:00

finally... after what seems like eternity i was able to update and change my blogskin... anyway... lots of updates!!! my crazy sistahz are here!!! though they're in san francisco right now and im stuck in los angeles workin my butt off... im really happy knowing they're not so far away from me like they used to be back when they were still in the philippines.... and one more thing... im ecstatic coz muh baby's home from new york!!! after 5 days of tourin the east coast, which left me really lonely and sad.... he'sfinally home! by the way... a good friend of ours just started their life together.... best wishes ruel and michelle!!! well... thats pretty much it for now.... oh! before i forget.... im diggin'nina and kitchie's sounds at the moment... rock on ladies!

~~~dont let the bastards grind you down~~~

lots of things to look forward to...

2005-04-24T22:36:00.000-07:00

yay!!! finally... ill be able to see my sisters after a year... anyway... been away for a while, got busy with things... too many celebrations goin on.... had a party the other night coz one ofmy co-workers celebrated her birthday... wont go so much into details... anyway... and my boyfriend's bestfriend is getting married on the 27th! best wishes to ruel and toktok... advance happy birthday to ryan, joey, tita alma and mama nitz!!! love yah..... thats it for now....
~~we're finding our own way together~~
~dont let the bastards grind you down~

saying i do....

2005-04-18T07:25:00.000-07:00

here i am... just 2 days from attending my friends' wedding in norwalk... whew! times really are changin... and they're changin fast... actually too fast for me if you ask... anyway... back to the topic... the wedding was simply beautiful (except for the bridesmaids make up... LOL) hey dont get me wrong... im not bein bitchy here, im one of the bridesmaids afterall... anyway... it was beautiful... you can tell that rose and christian are really inlove with each other.... but then i began to think how will you know when your partner is really the one you wanna spend the rest of your life with? coz frankly for me.. i have no idea... i used to have an ex-boyfriend for 5 years and i thought i'll end up with him for good... well, i thought it was true... not till i met my soulmate and the love of my life aaron that i realized i want to spend the rest of my life with muh baby ehren and no one else.... well... i guess you'll never really know huh?!
~dont let the bastards grind you down~

am friggin' SCARED

2005-04-12T11:35:00.000-07:00

yup, i admit it. i'm scared to fall in love. Wait, make that scared-shit-out-of-my-wits. Why, you ask? Cause i know myself. I know that when i let myself fall, i will be falling.. hard. and when i'll love, i'm gonna give my heart, my soul, my all - my everything. And i'm old enough to know that there're no such things as happy endings. Ok, maybe there are, but they're rare... actually, rare is an overstatement. Make that, a chance of 1x10 to the negative one hundred percent. As soon as the miserable end comes, how will i be able to take back all that i gave? how will i be able to get back my life that i gave to this one guy who used to, and still, make my heart jump? How will i be able to glue back the pieces of my shattered heart? Sad endings equal a humungous amount of pain, hurt and suffering that i don't think i can live through. Call it selfish. Call it stupid. Call it whatever the hell you wanna call it. Bottom line is, putting my fragile heart out there to him, not knowing if he'll take care of it or not, sounds crazy to me. But then again, who says love ain't worth that risk? Fuck.
~dont let the bastards grind you down~

scared and confused

2005-04-11T11:02:00.000-07:00

these past few days ive been doin something i swear i would never do again... is jealousy a bad thing? i guess if its too much then its not good.... well.. a couple of months ago... i promised myself ill lessen my jealous blood in me... well it worked a couple of times... but dang! its so hard to control it... i guess i have too much jealous blood in me i cant help it, but i knowits wrong, and im hurtin the people around me along the way... and what's worse is that im scared that i might lose the one i love if i dont stop this insanity right now... so... im hopin for the best... if worse comes to worse... maybe ill pay a visit to a shrink... LOL... nah im not that crazy...

~dont let the bastards grind you down~

2005-04-08T14:27:00.000-07:00

all messed up... dunno what's goin on wit' muh life...thankfully muh baby's takin care of me...without him ill be just plain garbage right now...

fresh skin...

2005-04-08T14:08:00.000-07:00

got a new skin... thanks to muh sistah che... love yah sis... though its quite complicated... i managed one on muh own... oh yeah baby! hope everyone will like it though... gotta bounce now...
~dont let the bastards grind you down~

doth i protest too much

2005-04-07T16:31:00.000-07:00

I'm not threatened by every pair of legs you watch go by
I don't cringe when you stare at women it's just a thing called guy
I don't notice your sideways glances or where your loyalty lies
I'm secure and out of me it's hard to get a rise
I'm not jealous
I don't get moved by much
I'm not enraged
not insecure as such
not going insane
rational stays in touch
Doth I protest too much
I'm not needy
I don't get clingy much
I am not scared
I'm not afraid as such
I'm not dependent
Rock solid stays in touch
Doth I protest too much
~dont let the bastards grind you down~

blog update....

2005-04-04T21:44:00.000-07:00

check out muh gallery!!! new photos uploaded!!! enjoy =)
by the way... happy 9th monthsary babykoh!!! i love you so much!!!!
~dont let the bastards grind you down~

sleepless in oxnard

2005-04-02T11:20:00.000-08:00

i just got off from my night duty.. it was 7am... i only have 15 minutes to prepare all i need coz my friends were outside waitin to pick me up... coz today's the day we'll have fun in oxnard baby!!! so there i was... without a wink of sleep... off we went to their apartment to get ready for the trip... together with our ever trusted friend joanne who'll be incharge of our life (since she's drivin'... and she's known for her skills in stitchin the freeway...) mavhic or vicky (the ever kulit gurl of the group who likes seeing punchbuggy so she could hit joanne...) janeth (our resident kikay... who loves our kuya bobby... hahaha...just kiddin) then there's joey... joannes brother and archenemy in driving.... and kuya bobby... our ever dearest financer and kuya... LOL... anyway... we got there... did our ceremonies (flat iron, make up, mascara, lipstick, blush on, flat iron once more... change outfits ....etc) we were able to leave about 9:30 am... off we went... the trip wasnt so bad... we cranked up the stereo and started singin out louad to every song we played... the fave song? basta't kasma kita!!! hahaha... we got to oxnard about 11am... we went straight to Lake Casitas... the place was beautiful... we cooked chili con carne and roasted mallows... then we checked out the lake and rented a motorboat... boy... it was fun... we went around the lake and interesting enough... we found a portable toilet in the middle of the lake... hmmm... very convenient... though we had to go around it twice before we could docke properly... we then took pictures... and went back... we then went to Ventura beach... played in the sand and the waters for a while... then it was time to go home... it was 5:30pm... we then drove back to Los Angeles.... then we picked up itchie (joanne's better half.... and jeff... another friend of our's) and off we go.... we ended up at Newtown Buffet in Burbank... we ate our dinner... talk some more.... whew! they have good food... man! was i full.... then we decided to rent a movie so we drove over to blockbuster.... we got home at about 11:30pm... i was exhausted.... i havent had a wink of sleep since yesterday morning.... and the bad part was... i had to work the next day at 7am... yeah...wish me luck.... but it was a great day....
~dont let the bastards grind you down~

2005-03-28T16:14:00.000-08:00

Nobody is flawed quite like me. --One
~dont let the bastards grind you down~

2005-03-25T22:06:00.000-08:00

i love my baby very very very much!!!! just got home from our night out with his dad... we went to empire in burbank... bought shoesfrom shoe pavillion... and bought more shoes and clothes from marshalls... he also got me burberry weekend perfume... (woopieee!!!)... then ofcourse... all those shopping made us hungry... so we went straight to a buffet in glendale... Q&Q buffet along central and arden... man!!! we were so full... we cant stand up from our table.... it was some night.... now im home.... making this blog for y'all to read... but my eyes cant hold it no more... i gotta sleep... nytienyt...
~dOnT LeT tHe bAsTaRdS gRiNd yOu dOwN~

i had a weird but fun experience last night....

2005-03-25T12:27:00.000-08:00

i was at home... just surfin... when i got a call from my friend bucai tellin me to get ready coz we're goin somewhere later that day.... i said its fine... i have nothin else to do anyway... so i took a shower and dressed up and i waited for my baby to come home... 6pm... we hopped in the car and drive towards universal city... met up with muh friends bucai and argish... turned out we're watchin a mini concert at BB King's featuring Elijah Rock... well... doesnt really ring a bell, but what the heck... we were there, we paid the ticket, so why not sit back and enjoy the night? so there we go... suddenly, this lady went onstage, whew... she's hot... we guessed she'll be introducing Elijah... we were right... but once she started to speak... boy! we were shocked... turned out,,, this hot mama... was a guy!!! so we ended up laughin so hard.... we almost choked on our heineken... anyway... then ELijah Rock came... the performance wasnt bad.... but it wasnt our thing... he did some dancin' that i wasnt sure was a dance but hey... he was doin his best... we tried listenin... gettin used to his music... it turned out to be alright... then it got old... we then spent the next 30mins looking around trying to guess if the chicks around us were the real thing or a guy in hiding.... then this band came... they call themselves shut up marie... they were quite not young... but they were a rock band... it was loud music... not our type still... but it was anotch better than the first performance... then it got old again... it was 11pm... oopsss!!! gotta get home... they all have work tomorrow... lucky for me i dont... but what can i do? im just tagging along with them... overall... the night rocked.... for me at least....

~dont let the bastards grind you down~

2005-03-24T16:31:00.000-08:00

holy week... yet im feelin so high... i just dunno why.... maybe it's the weather (nah, its friggin rainin here)... maybe it's the food (yeaH, chocolates make me high, but i dont think that's it)... maybe it's payday (ooops, that's not until tomorrow)....maybe it's love (eureka!!!) exactimiento!!! hmmm.... its been a while since i felt this way... i hope this time it'll last... hope this time its real... hopin' this time it's for keeps... and i hope this time i can make it work....